Courting Under the Clouds
by Vol lady
Summary: Jarrod and Maggie continue their courtship - and he takes her home to meet the family.
1. Chapter 1

Courting Under the Clouds

Chapter 1

Late December 1879

It was late in the day that Nick and Heath Barkley rode into Stockton and hitched their horses to the rail in front of Dr. Merar's office. Neither one was sick – at least they didn't think they were – but they had promised their mother they would check in with the doctor about what looked like might be a hereditary problem among the Barkley men.

A few weeks earlier, Victoria had finally read one of her husband's journals, the last one he kept before he was killed. In it, he wrote that he was having trouble with chest pain and breathing. He had never told Victoria about that, perhaps because he was killed before he could.

What she read disturbed her, but when her oldest son Jarrod confessed that he was having similar symptoms and was seeing a heart specialist in San Francisco for what the doctor diagnosed as heart failure, she was alarmed. Not just for Jarrod – that was bad enough – but for Nick and Heath and even Eugene, the doctor, as well. If this disease was passed down from father to son, they could be affected, too. The possibility that all her sons could fall victim to it was almost more than she could bear.

So, Nick and Heath agreed to see the doctor and get his opinion, even though neither of them was feeling any symptoms yet. When they went into his office, he came out of his examining room and looked at them in surprise.

"Afternoon, Doc," Nick said, holding his hat in his hands.

"Afternoon," Dr. Merar said, looking perplexed. "What brings you boys to me?"

"Nothing urgent, I don't think, but we need to talk to you."

Dr. Merar stepped aside and motioned them to come into the examining room. "Let's talk, then."

Nick and Heath went in and sat down in two chairs there. Dr. Merar followed and closed the door. He stayed standing and leaned back against the examining table, folding his arms in front of him.

Heath said, "We need to talk to you about Jarrod and our father."

Dr. Merar raised an eyebrow. He expected that at some point they'd come to him about Jarrod, but about their father? That surprised him.

Heath went on. "Mother read one of our father's old journals a few weeks back and saw that he had been feeling some chest pains and some breathing problems just before he was killed. Then the other day, when Jarrod was home for a visit, I was with him when he had a real bad attack of chest pain. He told us that he'd been seeing a doctor in San Francisco for heart trouble."

Dr. Merar nodded. "I was aware of Jarrod's problem, but not your father's."

Nick said, "Apparently Father didn't tell anybody about his trouble – never got a chance to. But when Jarrod said he had the same thing, well, Mother got concerned that this was something that was being handed down."

"And you're wondering if you might fall victim to the same thing," Dr. Merar said.

"Neither one of us is having the pain or the breathing trouble or anything like that," Heath said, "but Jarrod – frankly, Doc, he looked pretty bad when he had those chest pains. He took a little pill he had with him and it all cleared up, but it was scary to see."

"Well," Dr. Merar said, "as far as the two of you are concerned, if you're not having symptoms, then there's nothing I could do to see if you were developing heart disease. There's no real test for it, and there's nothing I could do for you until you came up with symptoms anyway. In other words, don't go losing any sleep over it. There's no guarantee that you will get sick, and no guarantee that you won't. Only time will tell."

"And Jarrod?" Nick asked.

"What did he tell you?"

"Just that he had these symptoms and he had these pills that helped the pain, but he had something called heart failure. That meant his heart wasn't working as well as it should, but it didn't mean he was going to die anytime soon."

Heath was more sober. "He is dying from it, though, isn't he?"

Dr. Merar sighed. "It's a gradually debilitating disease, and yes, in the end he will die from it, but only if something else doesn't get him first. He could live just fine for several years before he becomes incapacitated."

Heath still looked concerned. He still remembered Jarrod's words in that alley, when he'd collapsed into Heath's arms. _I'm the one who's dying._ He knew that Jarrod was afraid, and that made Heath afraid for him too, despite what he might have shown to everyone else.

Dr. Merar saw it but misread it. "Neither of you is guaranteed to get this disease."

"That's not what's troubling me," Heath said. "That attack he had was bad. I'm scared for him, not for me."

Dr. Merar tried his best comforting smile. "He has the best modern medicine to help him with this, and I've traded letters with his doctor in San Francisco. He's doing quite well. These angina attacks are not that frequent, even if they are scary. Is Jarrod still in town?"

"No, he's gone back to San Francisco."

"He still wants to practice law, and he's got a lady friend he's seeing there," Nick said.

Dr. Merar's smile got bigger. "Well, then, I'd say he's handling things very well. What he needs most right now is to do whatever makes him happy."

Heath finally smiled. "He did seem pretty happy."

"Then be happy for him," Dr. Merar said. "Nobody knows how this disease will progess for him. It's different for everybody. Take it one day at a time, and for now – sounds to me like you have a happy and reasonably healthy brother. And now, how is your sister Audra doing?"

Nick could smile now. "Better every day. Mother and Carl are fussing over her, even though she's up and getting around."

"She's still skittish about coming into town alone," Heath said.

"Well, she had a bad scare when that drifter attacked her. Her nerves will settle down – except, of course, they're bound to fly back up as she plans this wedding."

Nick got up, and Heath rose with him. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, she's doing better all the time. Thanks, Doc," Nick said and shook the doctor's hand. "What do we owe you?"

Dr. Merar waved him off and shook hands with Heath. "Nothing. We're just friends talking here. Now, you two just have a very prosperous new year."

"You, too, Doc," Nick said.

Nick and Heath left and stopped on the boardwalk before mounting up to leave. Nick looked at Heath and asked, "How do you feel about all that?"

"A little better," Heath said. "Glad we're okay, and maybe a little more optimistic about Jarrod. How about you?"

"Same I guess," Nick said. "I suppose we'll have to see what Mother thinks."

"If she really lets us know. This has got to be hardest on her."

"Yeah. Well, let's go talk to her. She might not feel wonderful about all this, but maybe she'll feel better."

XXXXXXX

That same evening, Jarrod was walking Maggie home after not having seen her for a week. They walked slowly, arm in arm, happy to be together again. Jarrod told Maggie a bit about his visit home – leaving out the attack on his sister for the time being – and described all the wonderful things like the cookies and Christmas dinner before he told her something he was sure she'd find very important.

"And – I told my family about my illness," he said.

Maggie actually stopped, her mouth open as she gaped at him. "You told them?"

Jarrod nodded. "I didn't have much of a choice, really. I had an angina attack while my brother Heath was around, and he refused to keep it secret."

"Good for him," Maggie said.

They began to walk again, and Jarrod chuckled. Since she witnessed an angina attack in mid-December, Maggie had been telling him that he should not keep his condition from the people who loved him. It was wrong in so many ways, and Maggie had no trouble listing them.

"How did they take it?" Maggie asked.

"Pretty well, while I was with them," Jarrod said. "What they said to each other when I wasn't around, I don't know. But the big surprise was that my father had similar symptoms before he was killed."

"What?"

"My mother never knew until recently when she read his journal. I think she's going to carry the most worry of anyone – not just because she's my mother, but now she's worried about the problem being hereditary and my brothers ending up with the same thing – and knowing my mother, she's privately cursing my father out for not telling her."

"I think I'd like your mother. But you know, there's no guarantee your brothers would be affected, even if it is hereditary," Maggie said.

"They'll talk to the family doctor and see how they are, but neither of them has any symptoms yet."

"That's good. I wouldn't worry if I were you."

"I'm not. They're both younger than I am – Heath by nearly ten years. Chances are if they get it, I won't – " He stopped. He had almost said _I won't be around to see it_ , and he had nearly said it as matter-of-factly as if he were saying _my eyes are blue._

Maggie noticed. She squeezed his arm.

"Well," Jarrod said instead. They were reaching the steps of her building, and as they stopped, he said, "I told them something else, too."

They stopped. Maggie turned to face him and said, "Oh?"

"I told them about you," Jarrod said, smiling. "I told them about us."

Maggie was open-mouthed again, but then she just smiled. "I hope they were happy about it."

"They were," Jarrod said. "They can't wait to meet you."

"Oh, that's making me a bit nervous."

"It shouldn't. They're wonderful people, and they'll see how wonderful you are."

Jarrod leaned forward and kissed her. They had dismissed any concern about being seen kissing in front of her door early on in their "courtship," and every day that went by they each considered dismissing other "proprieties," even if they didn't talk to each other about it yet. For now, for this first night back together, Maggie simply said, "I'm glad your visit went well, and I'm glad your family knows about you and about me."

"I promised to come back for a few days by the end of January," Jarrod said. "Please think about coming with me."

Maggie nodded. "I will."

Jarrod kissed her again and said, "Good night. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Til tomorrow," Maggie said, and went up the stairs.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

January 1880

After celebrating the New Year in style at the restaurant of the Plaza hotel, Jarrod and Maggie settled back into their unconventional courtship. They spent every Sunday together, at the theatre or the Park or the Conservatory, or some other "safe" activity.

Jarrod had started eying the people around them when they were in public, looking for faces that appeared repeatedly. He realized that was the lawyer in him, trying to protect himself and Maggie from anyone who might see too much and turn on them. It was habit more than anything, but he felt a deep need to know if trouble was on the horizon.

So far, he only noticed one couple who turned up more often than he liked. It was an older man and woman who were often at the café toward closing. The man seemed oblivious to them, but the woman had started staring too much at Maggie when she was waiting on Jarrod, and once or twice Jarrod saw the couple on the street as he was walking Maggie home.

He didn't think there was much danger they would do anything that would harm him or Maggie, like talking to her boss at the cafe, but the woman did make him uneasy. She made him more alert, more observant of who was around when he and Maggie were together. It didn't alter his behavior – he still kissed Maggie good-night before she walked up the stairs to her apartment. He still walked arm in arm with her, and occasionally hand in hand.

But it made him think.

One Sunday evening in late January, as Jarrod walked Maggie home after dinner, he said, "If we were kids, we'd be moving into the next step in our courtship."

"Which would be?" Maggie asked.

"I'd be swinging with you alone on your front porch every evening, your parents leaving us alone to – express our feelings a bit more intensely but being there to rescue you if I became too bold. Too bad you don't have a front porch."

"Or parents or anyone else to rescue me, but I have a feeling I wouldn't want to be rescued."

Jarrod liked that she said "want" rather than "need." "Well," he said, "it looks like we'll have to skip that stage, doesn't it?"

"What comes next?"

"I'd ask your father for your hand in marriage, but we'll have to skip that stage, too."

"Well, then," Maggie said, "are you going to propose marriage?"

Jarrod stuttered at that. "May I be frank?"

"Always, please," Maggie said.

"I want you more than I can say, and I mean physically, too. It's not just that I want to be more physically close, though. I want the emotional closeness to grow, too. I really love you, Maggie. I really want to have you with me every night and to express that love every night. So, I guess, I am proposing marriage."

Maggie hesitated, but then she said, "May I be frank?"

"Always, please," Jarrod said.

"Will you think about what I'm about to say, honestly? It's very private, and I want you to refuse to answer, but – frankly, Mark and I chose to be together as man and wife before we got married. We wanted to be absolutely sure than his illness was not going to come between us, before we put the legalities onto our relationship. I want you too, Jarrod, physically and emotionally, and this probably sounds crazy coming from the woman in this relationship – but I'd rather spend some time together as man and wife before we actually tie the knot. I need to know your illness won't come between us."

Jarrod laughed just a little. "You're right about one thing – it is a little strange for that kind of offer to come from the woman in a relationship."

"Am I right about the rest?"

By now they had reached the bottom of the stairs to her apartment. Jarrod looked into her eyes, her face lit softly by a nearby streetlight. He touched her face. "Yes, and I'd say yes about being together physically in a heartbeat, but your landlord, your job – I don't want to threaten them."

"When will you be going back to Stockton?"

"Next week."

Maggie said, "I would like to go with you, if you want me to."

"Oh, I definitely want you to."

Maggie lifted her necklace out from the inside of her dress, revealing two rings dangling there. Jarrod knew what they were immediately. A diamond in one of them sparkled in the light. The other was a gold band. "These are the rings from my marriage. I treasure them, as you can imagine, and I've thought long and hard about this. I've even talked to Mark about it, if you can believe that."

"I can believe it," Jarrod said.

"Before he died, Mark looked at these rings and said to me, 'Don't bury those with me. Keep them. You might need them someday.' I think he knew I'd fall in love again, and like he and I did, we'd want to commit physically to one another before we committed legally. I know you won't lie to your family, and I'm not asking you to, but when we come back to San Francisco, if I'm wearing my rings on my finger instead of on this chain – well, the assumption other people make about us will change, and it's nobody's business if we aren't really married."

Jarrod shifted uneasily. They were another man's rings, not his. Could he accept being with Maggie physically while she was wearing those rings?

Maggie saw his discomfort. "I'd just wear them in public. I know they're Mark's rings – but when you're widowed, there are always ghosts in your bed, rings or no rings. I have Mark, you have Beth. I know Mark would want me to have the man I love, and he'd be really happy if I used our rings to make my love with a new man stronger. Don't you think Beth would feel the same way, if you wore her ring?"

Jarrod said, "I had no ring. I know some men do wear wedding rings, but I didn't. But you're right – the point is the same. She would want me to build a new love, I'm sure. And I think I can wait a few more days before we make our relationship – deceptively legal?" He laughed at his own choice of words.

Maggie smiled. "It's enticing, isn't it, planning and having our own secret?"

 _Secrets,_ Jarrod thought. _My life has been full of secrets. One more won't mean much._ And he said, "You're right. There is something enticing about it."

He kissed her, a bit more passionately than usual. When they parted, she gave him that beautiful smile, and he returned it with his sparkling blue eyes.

XXXXX

The next week, Jarrod helped Maggie off the train in Stockton and tipped the conductor for unloading their bags for them. Jarrod looked around for a familiar face – he figured either Nick or Heath would be here to pick them up. Suddenly, through the crowd, he saw the familiar hat above all the other heads that told him that his tallest brother was approaching, and then Nick was there, smiling.

"Well, well," Nick said. "We finally get to meet the lady who stole my brother's heart."

Jarrod shook hands with him and said, "Nick, this is Maggie Larsen. Maggie, my brother Nick."

Nick shook hands with Maggie, too, and then picked up two of the bags while Jarrod picked up the third. "I hope you two are ready for an onslaught from Audra," Nick said.

"Our sister," Jarrod explained. "She's engaged to be married in June, and I trust she's still as giddy as a schoolgirl?"

"You got that right," Nick said.

"I'm the oldest of the brood," Jarrod explained. "Audra is 14 years younger than I am, and after our father was killed, I kind of had to take up the duties of being a father as well as a brother. I'll be escorting her down the aisle, and she's been lobbying for a double wedding."

Maggie laughed.

By then, they had reached the street, where the surrey was tied up. Nick and Jarrod put the bags in the back, and Jarrod helped Maggie into the back seat, then joined her, while Nick climbed in the front and took the reins. Pretty soon, they were off.

It was so busy and noisy in town that they could not really hold a conversation until they were outside the town limits. Once they were clear of the noise, Nick said over his shoulder, "I hope you've warned this lovely woman that life on a ranch is a bit more rough around the edges than life in San Francisco."

"Oh, he's described the ranch more than once," Maggie said. "And my husband and I ran a freight business, so I'm used to life that's rough around the edges."

"What you may not be used to is a business that's as big as ours is," Jarrod said. "The ranch is very large, and we have quite a few other business interests as well."

"Jarrod used to handle all our legal chores, but since he moved to San Francisco, I've had to keep that in line, too," Nick said.

"And you've been doing beautifully, I'm sure," Jarrod said.

They chatted a bit on the way home, passing a herd of Barkley horses that Maggie found wonderful and orchards that were bare but beautiful with their branches intertwining visually in so many patterns that changed as they drove on. Then, suddenly, there were the house, bunkhouses and stables.

"Wow," Maggie said. "You said it was big, but my goodness, this looks almost like a small town in itself."

Nick pulled to a halt at the front door, saying, "Go on in. I'll get your bags."

Jarrod climbed down and helped Maggie down, and then they went in through the front door. Maggie stopped and stood there, looking, and stunned. "Ohhhhh, my – "


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Maggie's "Ohhhh my" was accompanied by her dazzling smile, so Jarrod found himself smiling, too. "Looks more overwhelming than it is," Jarrod said.

Maggie looked at him, wide-eyed and open-mouthed. "You didn't tell me you lived in a castle."

"Not quite a castle," Jarrod's mother's voice came as she and Audra came in from the kitchen.

It did Maggie's heart good to see both the women in fairly subdued clothes. "You caught us making cookies in the kitchen," Audra said.

"More cookies?" Jarrod said. "We just finished the Christmas cookies."

"Audra wanted to add something of her own to Carl's mother's recipe for the wedding, and she wanted to try it out first," Victoria said and extended her hand to Maggie. "Hello, Maggie, I'm Jarrod's mother – please call me Victoria. Welcome to the Barkley ranch."

Maggie took the offered hand. "I'm pleased to meet you, Victoria," she said.

Audra then offered her hand as Jarrod said, "This is my sister, Audra, who will be getting married in June."

Audra said, "I'm so happy to meet you. I made Jarrod tell me all about you when he was here at Christmas time."

Nick came through the door, setting the bags down on the floor inside the door and saying, "Are you moving back in or what?"

"You know a woman travels with a bit more baggage than a man, Nick," Victoria said. "If nothing else, the clothing alone takes up more space. Maggie, please come in, sit down."

"Thank you," Maggie said as Victoria took her hand and led her into the living room, "but don't let me take you away from your cookies."

"Oh, we're in a spot where we can take a break," Audra said.

"Would you like something to drink?" Jarrod asked as Nick picked the bags up again and took them upstairs.

"Something cool would be nice," Maggie said.

Audra said, "We have lemonade. I'll go get some."

"Lemonade in January?" Jarrod asked.

"Why not?" Audra asked on her way out.

"She's turning into the giddy bride a bit early," Victoria said as she sat down with Maggie on the settee. Jarrod remained standing beside Maggie, putting his arm around her just a bit. "Well," Victoria went on. "I can't tell you how happy we are that you came. I do hope you have a wonderful stay with us."

"I thought I'd show her around the ranch a bit tomorrow," Jarrod said. "The weather looks like it might be good for a little horseback riding."

"I can't remember the last time I rode a horse," Maggie said. "There's not much call for it in San Francisco."

"They say you never forget," Jarrod said, "but I'll make sure to pick out a gentle mount for you."

"I've never been to a ranch this size before," Maggie said.

"Well, we have three herds of cattle and a herd of horses at different places on the ranch," Victoria said, "and then we have orchards of both peaches and pears, and fields where we grow the winter feed for the stock."

"I saw one of the orchards on the way in," Maggie said.

"They're not much to see this time of year. Come again in the spring when they're in bloom, and the flowers and the fragrance are wonderful."

"I'm looking forward to doing that. Jarrod's told me a lot about the ranch already. I can't say I understand why he'd give such a beautiful place up for the city life, but I'm glad he did."

"Are you from San Francisco?"

"No, but my husband was. He had a freight business there that I sold just before he died. I'm originally from Medford, Oregon. I met my husband there when he was expanding the business, but we ended up staying just in San Francisco so I moved there with him."

"So your family is still in Oregon?"

Audra returned with a glass of lemonade that she gave to Maggie. "No, sadly they've all passed on now. I'm the only one left."

"Oh," Audra said, and everything in her single word said how badly she felt for Maggie.

"It's all right," Maggie said. "I've done pretty well on my own. You learn to get by and even better than that."

They chatted a bit longer while Maggie finished her lemonade, and then she stood up.

"Well, I think I'd better freshen up," she said. "Jarrod tells me you have dinner at seven and gather for drinks at about six."

"I assume that's still the practice," Jarrod said.

Victoria stood up, too. "It is. Jarrod, I've put Maggie in the east guest room. Why don't you show her there while Audra and I get these cookies finished in time for us to freshen up ourselves."

"Glad to, " Jarrod said, and took Maggie's hand.

Maggie said, "Thank you so much for having me, Victoria. I'm really looking forward to getting to know you all better."

Jarrod led Maggie toward the stairs. They met Nick on the way down. He had already gone to his room and cleaned up a bit.

"Well," Nick said as they started up.

Jarrod kept Maggie moving up the stairs. "Hold that thought for later, Nick," he said.

Nick looked a bit crestfallen, and Victoria and Audra stifled a laugh.

Jarrod escorted Maggie into the guest room, leaving the door opened because he knew his mother expected him to. Maggie's mouth fell open again at the sight of the well-furnished and appointed room. "Wow," she said.

Jarrod chuckled. "I hope you'll be comfortable here. I'll be in my old room a few doors down the hall, and I'll just have to control my urge to slip down here when no one is looking. More than one person in this house has ears like a cat."

Maggie smiled. "Is it possible there's a swing on the front porch?"

Jarrod grinned. "It's on the back porch."

XXXXX

After Jarrod left and Maggie freshened up, she found herself still dazzled by this house, these people, the opulence and yet the simplicity of Jarrod's family. They seemed to be just like him – gracious, well-educated, but at the same time simple and direct. She liked that about them.

But she wondered what they were thinking about her. They didn't know everything about her yet. What would they think about the scion of this grand family being in love with a simple widowed waitress?

She knew she shouldn't be overly nervous about it. They would visit and talk and get to know one another, and if these people really were like Jarrod, they would accept her, no matter what her station in life. Maggie took a few deep breaths and repeated that mentally to herself, over and over. And as she did, she found her thoughts turning to her feelings for Jarrod.

She did love him, she was certain of that. The clouds that followed him around were not so dark that they blotted out the sun. Yet she was still uncertain about marrying him. She didn't know why. Maybe it was simply because she was hanging onto the memory of her husband. She never did stop thinking of Mark as her husband. Maybe she never would, even if she married Jarrod. Maybe that was it. Maybe she didn't want to let go yet.

On the other hand, maybe, once they became truly intimate, she would be able to look at Jarrod as her husband. Maybe, by being intimate before they married, she was repeating the pattern she'd shared with Mark, because that had led to such a glorious marriage. And maybe – she had to admit to herself – being with a man who had the same illness, the same difficult future ahead, made her feel as if she were with Mark again.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the door. "Come in," Maggie said.

Victoria came in. Maggie was a bit surprised, but not a lot. "I came to see if you needed anything," Victoria said.

"No, nothing," Maggie said. "I was just about to come down again."

Victoria smiled but stayed where she stood, between Maggie and the door. It wasn't a threatening position, but it did say she wanted to talk. "You know, you've made my son a very happy man."

Maggie smiled, genuinely. "He's made me a very happy woman." And she had to admit to herself that was very true, despite all the thoughts she was having before Victoria came in the door.

"He told us that he's talked to you about his – situation, and about the circumstances surrounding his marriage to Beth."

Maggie nodded. "One of the things we seem to have together is honesty, and I've told Jarrod everything about my past, too. For some reason, we felt free to talk to one another very quickly."

Victoria smiled. "That's one of the things love is built on. But neither of you is naïve about that."

"No," Maggie said. "And if you're asking if I know everything that I'm getting into, given Jarrod's history and his illness – the answer is yes, I do know. And perhaps those and my own past are reasons we're hesitating about getting married, but we still love each other, even if it is in a bit of a cautious way right now."

"That's probably not a bad approach, under the circumstances. But, for now, you're here, and we want to get to know you and show you how happy we are that the two of you have found one another."

Victoria reached for Maggie's hand, and Maggie took it, giving her that beautiful smile that Jarrod loved so much. Victoria loved it too.

"We're about to gather for drinks before dinner," Victoria said.

Maggie nodded. "I am ready to go."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Close your eyes," Jarrod said.

Maggie closed them. "Why?" she asked.

They had been sitting together on the porch swing for almost half an hour before Jarrod closed his eyes and invited Maggie to close hers. Until now, they had simply been talking, mostly about Jarrod's family and how dinner had been such a wonderful time for Maggie. She had never had a large family, and it was fun to watch the interaction and to feel a part of it. But what was Jarrod up to now?

Jarrod said, "Imagine something for a little bit. Imagine we're 16 years old, and your parents are just inside the house."

"And?" Maggie asked, smiling.

"And I'm going to try to get away with as much as I can."

Maggie laughed as he began to kiss her neck, then down into her chest –

"No, no, you'd better stop," Maggie said, laughing. "This porch is really well lit, and there's no telling when somebody will come out."

"I'm only 16, remember?" Jarrod said.

"In your dreams," Maggie said and pushed him off.

Jarrod sighed, opening his eyes. "Yeah, that's about as far as I ever got when I WAS 16."

Maggie laughed that musical laugh that Jarrod just wanted to keep hearing. "So you were a Lothario from the start, were you?"

"I tried to be," Jarrod said. "Just never got very far. I was a gangly kid. All skinny arms and legs and I never knew where to put them."

Maggie laughed again. "I assume you've learned by now."

Jarrod said, "I'm 36 now, on my way to 37. And I am in love with you." He kissed her, deep and contented, and she did not laugh or push him away this time.

"You know," Maggie said when Jarrod finally let her come up for air. "There's only one thing we can do when we get home."

"What's that?" Jarrod asked, taking her hand and kissing it.

""Go straight to your house," Maggie said. "And be 36 instead of 16."

They kissed again. "I just hope I can wait that long," Jarrod said. "But you're absolutely sure you want that?"

"Oh, I want it," Maggie said. "How about you? Are you sure?"

Jarrod kissed her again, more gently this time. "Very sure. I want to see where we're going. I want to believe that once we've been together, all through the night together, we'll want the next step, and you'll want to marry me."

"And you'll be ready to propose?"

Jarrod nodded. "And I'll be ready to propose."

They kissed again, and then suddenly they heard footsteps on the porch. They sat up like two 16-year-olds caught by her parents.

It was Audra and Carl. Carl hadn't been there for dinner. He must have ridden up while Jarrod and Maggie were talking on the swing.

"Well, hello there, Carl," Jarrod said, but he and Maggie did not get up. "I didn't realize you were here."

"Fifteen minutes or so," Carl said.

"Maggie, this is Carl Wheeler, Audra's fiancé," Jarrod introduced them, still not getting up. "Carl, this is my – " Oops. What to call Maggie? Jarrod didn't know.

"Maggie," she said with that dazzling smile.

"My Maggie," Jarrod said. "And we have the swing reserved for a while yet."

"We're just out for a walk anyway," Audra said, and she had that "caught you" look in her smile.

"I suppose we'll see you two if you ever decide to come in," Carl said.

"Look who's talking," Jarrod said.

Audra and Carl went on their way.

"He's a handsome young man," Maggie said.

"Not as young as he looks, and he's taken," Jarrod said. And he kissed Maggie again. "And so are you."

Maggie smiled for him. "So I am."

XXXXXXX

Jarrod couldn't sleep. How was he supposed to sleep when the woman he loved, the woman he wanted in every sense of the word was only a few doors down the hall? He couldn't get her out of his mind and for that matter, any other part of his being. He wanted her.

But he couldn't have her in his mother's home. The frustration was making him toss and turn like he hadn't since the last time he had a raging fever. He got up and paced around the room, and when he saw it was after two o'clock, he put on a robe and slippers and went downstairs.

He hesitated at the closed door to Maggie's room, but he went on downstairs.

He went to the kitchen, increased the light, and headed for the ice box. There was some left over roast beef that he took out, and then he fetched some bread from one of the cabinets. Eating wasn't going to cure what ailed him, but maybe it would take his mind off Maggie.

He was only three bites into the sandwich when he felt the tightening in his chest coming on. He dropped the sandwich onto the plate, and he realized, as the pain increased, that his handy little devils were up in his jacket pocket in his room.

He tried to breathe it away. It wouldn't go.

He forced himself up the back stairs, wondering all the time if this was a bad idea. The stress of going upstairs, and the stress of knowing it was not wise to be going upstairs, made the pain worse. _Calm down, calm down. You can make it. It's just the regular pain and it's not going to kill you._

He climbed so slowly it was like the number of steps was increasing. Every time he took one step, two more appeared out of nowhere. _Oh, God, not like this. Oh, Maggie, not this way. Not here, not now._

He made it to the top of the stairs, and then he made it to his room. He tried not to make any noise, but the door slammed louder than he liked as he closed it. He just hoped no one heard. He found his jacket and his pills and he quickly put one under his tongue. He made it to the bed, not even closing the bottle but just settling onto the nighttable beside the bed.

Then he just lay there, breathing as evenly as he could, letting it ease off, letting the handy little devil work.

It did work, and in a few minutes he fell asleep, without removing his robe or his slippers.

When he woke up in the morning, he didn't remember what had happened right away. He sat up on the edge of his bed and for a moment was baffled as to why he was still wearing a robe and slippers, but then he remembered.

He remembered he had left his sandwich only half-eaten and on the plate. He didn't want anyone to find that.

Jarrod got himself up and went down to the kitchen, but it was too late. He should have known. Silas was already up, puttering around as he fixed breakfast. He had already cleared away the sandwich and the plate.

"Good mornin', Mr. Jarrod," Silas said.

"Morning, Silas," Jarrod said. "I'm the one who left you half a sandwich on the table there. I'm sorry."

"No problem at all, Mr. Jarrod," Silas said. "Guess you weren't as hungry as you thought you were."

Still a little foggy brained from lack of sleep – and probably from falling asleep while the handy little devil was still working – Jarrod said, "I'll go dress for breakfast," and went back up the back stairs.

He had no trouble climbing this time. When he got to his room, he looked down the hall to Maggie's door, still closed.

Doubt smashed into his mind. _How can I do this to her? How can I even consider making her watch this again, things like what happened last night? Am I that selfish? Am I crazy?_

Thankfully, Maggie's door did not open. Jarrod went into his own room and fell on the bed again. Pulling one arm over his forehead, he stared at the ceiling, and wondered what in the world was the matter with him.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Everyone had gathered for breakfast, including Maggie, but Jarrod was not there. Maggie felt very awkward without him. Heath was the one who decided, "I'll go see if he's awake," and he started to get up.

"Actually, do you mind?" Maggie said tentatively and pushed back away from the table. "May I go?"

Heath nodded and sat back down. As Maggie left the room, everyone looked at one another, worried.

Maggie hurried up the front stairs and to Jarrod's room. She knocked, and there was no answer. She knocked again, louder, and thank heaven, he said, "Come in."

Maggie went inside, closing the door behind her. She didn't care if it was proper or not.

Jarrod was dressed but seated on the bed, pulling his boots on. Maggie said, "We're all at the table. I got worried."

Jarrod shook his head. "It's all right."

But it wasn't. Maggie could see that something had changed, really changed, since last night on the swing. She quickly sat down beside him on the bed. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Jarrod looked at her but only briefly. "I had a bad angina attack during the night. I went downstairs to get a sandwich, and it hit me while my pills were up here. I had to really struggle to get up the back stairs – "

Maggie quickly took both of his hands, before the tears that he was suppressing actually came out. "But you made it, didn't you? You're all right now?"

"I'm fine this morning," he said. "Maybe a little groggy, but Maggie – it's shaken me. I'm trembling. I had trouble shaving."

His tears came out. She took him into her arms and held his head against her shoulder.

"I'm so afraid," he admitted. "My life is finally beautiful, because of you – Maggie, because of you, I have the life I've struggled so hard to get, but I'm so afraid. I'm dying, and I'm so afraid – "

He was shaking in her arms. For a long time she said nothing, and then the door opened a crack, and Victoria looked in. Maggie gave her a smile but shook her head, and Victoria went back downstairs, trembling herself, afraid for what she saw.

Maggie said softly, "I'm afraid, too, but Jarrod – you're not alone. I will never let you be alone, ever again."

"No, you don't understand," Jarrod said quietly, then pulled himself away and looked at her. "I can't do this to you. I can't make you go through this again."

Maggie smiled. "Who said you're making me do anything? This is my choice, Jarrod. Loving you is my choice, and I do love you. And I don't care if you ever ask me to marry you or not. I'm as committed to you as if we were an old married couple, and I'm not going away, no matter what you say."

He leaned into her shoulder again and began to shake. "I don't want to die and leave you alone."

Maggie said quietly, "With every couple, one has to die and leave the other. It's life. It's the same thing that gives us each other and the love we share. And I'm not afraid of it, Jarrod. I'm only afraid for you and the pain you're going through."

Jarrod sat straight again. He wiped the wetness from his face with the back of his hand. Then he caressed the side of her face, and she gave him that beautiful smile that he loved so much. "How can I ever deny you anything you want?" Jarrod asked.

Maggie laughed a little. "You can't, so don't plan on trying." She kissed him. "Close your eyes, and imagine we're a grown-up couple swinging on the porch swing out back. And we're thinking about our life together when we get home. And we do have a life ahead of us, Jarrod, as glorious as any couple ever had."

"You're wonderful," Jarrod said, and kissed each of her cheeks and her forehead.

Maggie smiled. "You better believe it."

That made Jarrod laugh, and he said, "Guess we'd better go down so everyone will stop worrying."

They got up together, and Maggie said, "Well, you know, they won't stop worrying but at least we'll get fed."

That made Jarrod laugh again.

XXXXXX

Victoria was almost in tears herself when she reached the dining room. Nick, Heath and Audra looked at her with deep concern. The only thing she could think to say was, "I think Jarrod's had a bit of trouble this morning, but Maggie is taking good care of him."

"Trouble?" Nick asked. "Angina attack?"

"I think so," Victoria said quickly. "He's all right. I think we should just get on with our day and let him recover. Maggie is taking good care of him."

They ate, but it was in silence. When they were finished, Nick and Heath were hesitant to go out into the field – Jarrod and Maggie had not come down yet - but Victoria urged them on. They each stopped to stare upstairs for a moment, but then they went on their way. Audra was more hesitant than they were, but she didn't have anything planned for the day other than riding over to see Carl. And she was frightened that Jarrod had not come down at all.

But then his door opened, and he and Maggie came out together.

"Sorry I missed breakfast," he said to his mother and sister at the bottom of the stairs. "I had a little – angina problem during the night that left me a little hung over – like bad tequila." He smiled a little.

Victoria gave him a comforting motherly smile. "I'll see that Silas fixes you both some breakfast." She kissed her son, and he appreciated it.

Maggie gave Audra her best comforting smile, one that said, don't worry, I'll look after him.

Jarrod said to his mother, "Don't worry. I'm fine."

Maggie said, "Victoria, maybe you'd sit with us while we eat."

Jarrod looked at Maggie. She wanted a private talk with him and his mother, and he thought that was probably a good idea. Victoria nodded, and Audra got the message.

"I'm going to go over to Carl's," she said. "I'll see everyone later."

As Audra went out the front door, Victoria led the way back to the dining room.

Silas was, as usual, one step ahead of everyone else. He could hear the footsteps on the stairway and the voices in the foyer, and he was putting fresh scrambled eggs, coffee, toast and steak on the table as Victoria, Jarrod and Maggie came in.

"Sorry to put you to all this extra work, Silas," Jarrod said.

"Not much extra work, Mr. Jarrod," Silas said, "since it was mostly ready anyway. You all just sit down and enjoy each other's company."

"He's a prince," Maggie said as Silas went back to the kitchen.

"We'd be lost without him," Victoria said and sat down at the table.

Instead of taking his usual place at the head, opposite his mother, Jarrod held a chair next to her out for Maggie and then sat next to Maggie. Victoria poured some coffee for herself and then passed the pot to Maggie. She passed it to Jarrod, who poured for her and for himself.

"I wanted to talk to you, Victoria," Maggie said. "I don't know how much Jarrod has told you about my past."

"Very little," Victoria said. "He's said that you're widowed, like he is, and I know what you've told us since you've been here."

"When I married my husband Mark," Maggie went on, "we knew he was ill with the same thing Jarrod is battling – heart failure, with angina attacks. We were married for six years, and I've never been happier, even with the struggles with the angina, even as it ended up. Victoria, I know what Jarrod will be going through. I know how to take care of him, and I'm not afraid to do it. I wanted you to know that."

Jarrod gave his mother another small smile. "The lady is as stubborn and determined as you are, Mother."

Victoria nodded. "As long as the two of you know what you're doing. Do you plan to get married?"

Jarrod and Maggie looked at each other. "Not just yet," Jarrod said. "We've got to think everything through a bit more. But we plan to think things through together."

Jarrod reached for Maggie's hand, and she took his. "We're not kids, Victoria," Maggie said. "We know what we're up against. We've talked to each other a lot about our pasts, about the clouds that follow us both around."

"Just don't worry about us, Mother," Jarrod said. "We love each other. We'll work out all the kinks."

"Well," Victoria said, "I suggest you start by eating some breakfast before it gets cold and we have to put Silas to work yet again."

Jarrod and Maggie squeezed each other's hands, and Victoria looked on with both sadness and joy. Life for them was not going to be the bed of roses she would have for them. God had other plans, but at least she knew that in Maggie, Jarrod had found a gem. She couldn't have asked for a better mate for her son.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Jarrod and Maggie did not change their plans to go riding, and in an hour or so, they were together, galloping easily up toward the old foothill road and heading for the pasture where Jarrod knew Nick and Heath were keeping the main herd this time of year. Jarrod enjoyed riding Jingo again, and Jingo seemed to enjoy it too. For Maggie, Jarrod picked a mare name Candy, an easy-going girl who didn't seem to mind who was riding her.

They crested a hill, and Jarrod stopped at the top. Maggie saw why right away. Below them in a beautiful little arm of the valley, was the largest herd of cattle she ever saw in her life.

"Wow," she said.

And Jarrod chuckled. "Let's go on down, check in with Nick and Heath. Stay with me, all right? We need to go in easy so we don't spook the herd."

Maggie followed along, slowing when Jarrod slowed, so that they were barely faster than a human walking pace when Jarrod finally located his brothers. They were very close to the cattle now, and Maggie began to feel very uneasy. Those animals were huge, and those hooves looked sharp. She stayed close to Jarrod, but toward his side that was away from the cattle.

"Well, look who woke up," Nick said as he approached, Heath beside him. "You had us worried, Pappy."

"Sorry. Rough night," Jarrod said.

Heath moved on past the events of the morning and asked Maggie, "So, what do you think of the herd?"

"It's big," she said. "And they're big. And they smell bad."

The Barkley brothers all laughed. Nick said, "I guess your taste for steak just went out the window."

"Could be," Maggie said.

"We need to get back to work," Nick said. "Where are you headed from here?"

"Oh, just seeing some of the more impressive sites around here," Jarrod said.

Nick and Heath turned to go on, Heath saying, "See you at dinner!" as they rode away.

Jarrod watched them go. In a way, he wished he could dive in and help with the herd today, but maybe that was just bravado, after the morning of weakness he'd had that now made him feel terrible, even ashamed. But then he looked at Maggie, and she was looking a bit green. "Hey – are you all right?"

Maggie said, "Do you think we can move away from here? Between the size and the smell – I'm feeling a bit terrified."

Jarrod could see she was genuinely disturbed, so he reached over and took the lead of her mare. "Let me guide you. We'll head back up onto the ridge."

He led her off uphill, and Maggie was glad to let him do the work. The further away they got from the herd, the more at ease she felt, until, when they stopped at the top of the ridge, she laughed nervously. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize I'd react like that. Something about the size of the animals really made me frightened."

"That's a reasonable reaction if you're not around them much," Jarrod said. "They are big and they are dangerous. I'm sorry, I should have thought."

Jarrod climbed down out of the saddle and then helped Maggie down to sit on a fallen tree. He tethered the horses to a tree and fetched his canteen. He sat down next to Maggie and helped her sip a bit of water.

"Whew," she said. "I'm sorry. That just got to me."

Jarrod put the canteen down and took her into his arms. "My fault. I forgot you're a city girl and not a ranch girl."

Maggie relaxed into his arms. "What do you say we try to stay away from cattle for the rest of this visit?"

"Fine by me."

They sat in silence for a little while, Maggie in Jarrod's arms, watching the large herd move across the valley below. After a bit, Maggie seemed to be stronger, less limp, less green. Jarrod lifted her face to kiss her, and saw she'd been crying.

"Hey, now," he said. "Tears?"

Maggie laughed and wiped them away. "Just a bit ashamed of myself. My reaction down there."

"No need to be ashamed," Jarrod said, holding her close again.

"I'm sorry I got so – silly."

"Not silly," Jarrod said. "It's just how you felt at the moment. I'm glad I'm here for you."

Jarrod kissed her then. It was sweet and lingering, and they both felt stronger for it.

Then he grew a bit sober. "I was vulnerable this morning – and I've been feeling a bit ashamed about it. That's not the way a man is supposed to feel, you know."

"No, you're supposed to be stoic and strong and afraid of nothing, I know," Maggie said. "But at some point in this relationship, we had to expose our real, immediate fears to one another. We've had to admit we're vulnerable. Maybe we become vulnerable when we least expect it, and we become invulnerable when someone needs us to be."

"Hmm," Jarrod said. "That's very philosophical of you."

He said it with a bit of a kick that made Maggie laugh. But she said, "Whether you're feeling strong or whether you're feeling afraid, I want to be with you, Jarrod. I love you."

They kissed again, even more sweet and more lingering.

"Let's go on," Jarrod said then. "I've picked out a nice, secluded spot for our lunch."

"Mmmm," Maggie said in pleasure. "But no cattle."

Jarrod laughed. "No cattle. Just you and me."

Jarrod helped Maggie up and then up into the saddle. Then he mounted, and he led her off toward the southeast at an easy gallop. After about half an hour, they came to a secluded little grove of trees and dismounted. Jarrod tethered the horses again, untied the blanket he had tied to the back of his saddle and took down his saddlebags. Then, taking those things and the canteen in one hand taking Maggie by the other, he led her into the trees.

The trees were bare this time of year, so they did not have the privacy they might have had in June or July, but there was a small clearing about fifty feet into the little forest. The earth was soft, and Jarrod laid the blanket out for them to sit down on. Maggie looked around, and everywhere there were trunks and tree branches all intertwining, making something like a protected little room. They sat down, and Jarrod took sandwiches out of the saddlebags.

"Didn't I tell you it was nice and secluded?" he asked as he handed Maggie a sandwich.

"You were right," Maggie said. "Kind of a magical little place this time of year, isn't it?"

"Any time of year," Jarrod said. "Growing up here, I found all these little special places on the ranch, different places where I could go depending on the mood I was in. I used to come here and pretend I was in a place that was the most safe place in the world. No one could hurt me here, with all the trees surrounding me."

"I can't imagine you felt that way very often."

"Not often. When I first found out I had heart disease, I came here, alone. Fell apart over it – me, grown man, sitting here in the trees, falling apart. I hope my falling apart hasn't – "

Maggie quickly put her finger against his lips, stopping him. "I know it's supposed to be the woman who is the only one to be afraid, but we both know that's a fool's way of looking at the world. We all have things to be afraid of in life. You're not any less a man to me because you showed me you were afraid, and I'm sure I'm not any more a woman because I showed you the same thing."

"Truth be told," Jarrod said, "you're a woman to me no matter what."

He kissed her, and then he moved her onto her back on the blanket, and in a moment he was pressing against her.

"You're sure we're secluded here?" Maggie whispered.

"Secluded and safe," Jarrod said, and kissed her again.

And they spent the rest of the afternoon right where they were.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

It was after six when Jarrod and Maggie got back to the house. The rest of the family, plus Carl Wheeler, had already gathered in the living room, and the scent of chicken roasted with rosemary wafted throughout the house.

"Well, we were just about to send out a search party," Nick said.

"Got sidetracked," Jarrod said. "You know how it is."

"No, how is it?" Nick asked, knowing exactly what he was asking and that it would not get a straight answer.

"I need to clean up a bit," Maggie said. "Would you please excuse me?"

"Same here," Jarrod said. "We'll be back in a few minutes."

As Jarrod and Maggie went up the stairway, Audra smiled. "I haven't given up on that double wedding idea."

"I'm not sure those two can make it until June," Heath said.

"I'm sure they won't steal your thunder," Victoria said to Audra.

"No, but knowing our Jarrod, he might very well bring Maggie here with rings on her finger next time they come," Nick said.

"Well, if he does, I can't say he's made a bad choice," Victoria said with a smile. "I think she's a lovely woman and just what the doctor ordered for your brother."

"She is something," Nick said with a smile, and a bit of jealousy in his eyes.

"We gotta get you married," Carl said to Nick, the best of his friends among the Barkleys.

"I keep trying," Nick said. "Funny, all these years, how many women have there been who've fallen in love with Jarrod, but this is only the second one he's fallen for? And me, I fall at least two or three times a year, and none of them really fall back."

"It's not fair to count his clients in that number," Heath said. "Professional hazard – your lawyer has your life in his hands. It's natural a girl would fall for him."

"Yeah, well, it's about time I hit the jackpot," Nick said. "And this year, I'm gonna do it."

"Triple wedding?" Audra mused.

"Guess you best throw me in there, too," Heath said.

"No, no! One is enough!" Victoria said quickly. "It's only January, and I'm going crazy with just that!"

After a few minutes, Jarrod met Maggie in the hallway outside their rooms. He immediately kissed her and asked, "All freshened up?"

She smiled that dazzling smile of hers, the meaning of the phrase being their own secret. "All freshened up."

"I'm glad we're going home tomorrow," Jarrod said and kissed her once more.

"Me, too," she said, and they went downstairs together.

XXXXXX

Drinks and dinner together made for a splendid evening, if a bit more crowded than it usually was. After dinner, Audra and Carl made it to the porch swing before Jarrod and Maggie could, so Jarrod took Maggie on a long walk around the grounds, promising "No cattle here."

Maggie said, "I know this was a difficult day in some ways, but I think it will be one of the days I remember most in our lives."

"I think you're right," Jarrod said. "And I have to thank you, for this morning. For being with me in my weaker moments. I don't often go to pieces like that, but I'm in unfamiliar territory these days. Forgive me if I'm needier than I like to be."

"There's nothing to forgive, and I want to thank you for being with me in mine. I think it's going to take me a few more visits to the ranch to get used to the cattle."

"We hit a couple important milestones today, didn't we?"

"That's one way of putting it," Maggie said. "But every couple has to hit the parts of life that sneak up on you and knock you down before you know it. I had no idea I'd be so afraid of being close to cattle."

"You might get used to it, I don't know," Jarrod said. "But if you don't – well, we'll just keep away from the cattle."

They were quiet again for a little while, just walking together. Then, Maggie said, "Jarrod, if we do end up getting married, I don't want there to be a double wedding. Audra's young and it's her first – she deserves to have all the attention to herself."

"You're right there, besides, knowing my little sister, she doesn't really mean it. She's young and the only girl in the bunch, so she was spoiled absolutely rotten. I remember when she was born. I was getting into that phase where I was noticing that boys and girls were pairing off more permanently, and then suddenly I was holding a tiny little baby in my arms and thinking – if I'm not careful – "

Maggie punched him playfully. "Here I thought you were going to say something sentimental, like 'This is what I really want.'"

"That was my second thought," Jarrod said. Then he stopped and face Maggie, seriously. "We haven't even talked about children, you and I."

"We've just touched the surface of marriage," Maggie said.

"I know this is probably a more serious question than you want to ponder but – how do you feel about children? I mean, if we were to have a child, it's likely I'd – " He stopped, unable to say it.

Maggie understood. "How would you feel, having a child, expecting that you wouldn't see him grow up?"

Jarrod sighed. "I don't know. My first thought is that what you'd feel is most important. Raising a child alone."

Maggie smiled, a sad smile. "I wanted to have Mark's child. It just didn't happen. I don't know, I guess it's possible I can't have children at all. But I'd want to have your children, I think, even if I do end up raising them alone. And you've got a pretty big, close family here. Somehow, I suspect I wouldn't be raising them all that much alone."

Jarrod smiled at that. "That's true, you probably wouldn't be, if you didn't want to. But I'm jumping the gun anyway. We're not even really talking about marriage yet."

They began to stroll together again. "Well," Maggie said, "you never know what's waiting for us right around the corner."

Jarrod squeezed her hand. "That's the scary part, but also the fun part, isn't it?"

Maggie laughed. "Yes, I think it is."

XXXXXXX

The next morning, Jarrod and Maggie said their good-byes at breakfast. There were hugs and "it was so wonderful meeting you"s and "please come back soon"s and even a tear or two from Victoria and Audra, and then Jarrod and Maggie were driven to the train station in Stockton by one of the hands. They did not take the family car to San Francisco, but settled themselves into their seats, and they both fell asleep before an hour had even gone by.

Jarrod woke up first, as the train slowed a few miles from the station for San Francisco. He gently woke Maggie, who was asleep on his shoulder. "Are we there?" she asked groggily.

"Just about," Jarrod said. "Decision time."

"About what?"

"About whether you put your rings on again and go with me to my place," Jarrod said quietly.

Without a word, Maggie discreetly took her rings off the chain around her neck and slipped them on her finger.

Jarrod had his answer, but he was still a bit uneasy about it. Mark's rings on Maggie's hand, not his rings. He took her hand gently. "You're sure Mark would be all right with this?"

"He'd be if you are," Maggie said. "He was the one who thought I'd need them."

"I kinda wish I'd known him," Jarrod said. "I suspect I'd have liked him."

"You would have, and he'd have liked you," Maggie said, "but it's our time to find our own way now. Are you sure you're all right with me wearing Mark's rings?"

"For now," Jarrod said, looking at her hand, but then he was overwhelmed by the fact that she was beside him, that they would be going to his home together, that they would be together all night. He leaned in and kissed her. "God, I love you," he whispered and touched his forehead to hers.

Before long, the train jerked to a stop. Jarrod got up and helped Maggie to her feet, and he tipped the conductor to help him with their bags. In a few minutes, they were seated in a hack heading for Jarrod's home.

Maggie had seen it from the outside, but had never been inside. Not proper in San Francisco society, but now, wearing the rings, Jarrod led her inside with no concern about what any of the neighbors might think. Once inside, Maggie removed the rings and put them back on the chain.

She took a look around the big living room and said, "Wow."

Jarrod laughed. "It is a bit ostentatious, isn't it?"

"Big was what I was thinking," Maggie said.

"It's still a bit masculine, too," Jarrod said. "I hope you don't mind."

"Not for the time being."

"Come on. I'll show you the bedroom."

Jarrod tucked one bag under his arm and collected the other two in one hand, then led Maggie upstairs. Since they passed the bath first, he pointed it out, and then he led the way into the bedroom.

It definitely was masculine, with dark paneling and clothing butlers. There was a desk full of paperwork under the window, and one stuffed chair. And a nice, big, soft bed.

Jarrod dropped the bags and gathered Maggie onto the bed. She laughed and he kissed her.

He smiled and said, "Welcome home, sort of Mrs. Barkley."

Epilogue

Late March 1880

It was the end of a long week. Jarrod had been tied up with a trial and felt like he was neglecting Maggie, so he made sure to take it extra slowly as they walked home from the café together.

Their little ruse had been working well. Anybody who might have cared saw the rings on Maggie's finger and didn't even ask. She kept her job – now as Maggie Barkley – but she kept her apartment, too, planning to be there overnight on occasion, but that wasn't happening. Instead, she found herself slowly moving her important things to Jarrod's home. And it was rapidly becoming their home.

As they walked, Jarrod talked about the trial for a few moments. Then he talked about their plans for the coming Sunday. The gardens at the park were beginning to come into bloom and Jarrod thought Maggie would really enjoy them. She had seemed a little worn out herself lately, and he wanted her to have a relaxed and carefree day.

They arrived at home, and Jarrod lit the lamps in the living room. Maggie sat down heavily on the sofa with a big sigh. Jarrod was a bit concerned – she seemed so tired and preoccupied.

"Is everything all right?" he asked.

Maggie motioned him to come to her, but as he sat down beside her, she said, "No. I think you should kneel."

"Kneel?" Jarrod asked.

"Isn't a man supposed to kneel when he proposes marriage?"

Jarrod smiled. "You want me to – "

Maggie smiled a secretive smile. "Yes, and I need you to."

Jarrod knelt in front of her, looking at her suspiciously. "Maggie, will you marry me?"

"I think our baby would appreciate his parents being married," Maggie said.

Jarrod went almost so white that Maggie grabbed hold of him to keep him from falling over. "Baby?" he asked.

Maggie nodded. "I know it wasn't in the plan – "

She never got to finish before he was beside her on the sofa and kissing her. He backed away long enough to say, "You haven't said yes."

Maggie laughed. "Yes. I will marry you."

And then she added something she had been saving up for the right time, since she first heard it used at the Barkley ranch.

"Pappy."

The End


End file.
